On Weighing In

July 7, 2007

By Janet Walgren
I can remember the good ole days when I never had to worry about a pilot asking how much I weighed so that he could do his weight and balance calculations before we went on a flying date. I would proudly stand at attention and wave to the crowd while standing on the scale at the arcade (you know the kind with a large round face that hovered above your head and announced your weight like the tower of Big Ben shouting out the hour.) In those days I had to wear a heavy weight belt and carry rocks to get down lower than 30′ when scuba diving. Those were the days ~sigh.

Now I’m trying to break another kind of barrier to get below a certain level. Yes I’m trying to loose weight. My daughter suggested that it could make a difference if I weighed after I showered because the dirt that I wash off must weigh something. Huh? I think there might be something to it because little boys that sleep in the dirt never seem to add to anything…metrically speaking of course.

Did you know that the British people weigh themselves in stones? Does that mean that they can control their weight by adding or taking rocks out of their pockets? It’s not that I am a serious rock collector; however, I wouldn’t mind collecting a nice one for a special finger on my left hand.

I think that I’m more like a sponge and the water absorbed weighs something. Perhaps I should avoid water. It could become another fad diet. I wonder why one weighs less in the morning than they do when they go to bed at night. Some blame it on metabolism, but what if it is just the dust mite’s appetites? When it comes to diet there is so much to ponder. I think that I’ll go discover a new store in Pleasant Grove call Melanie’s that my daughter just found out about. I’ll buy some Carmel digestives and try them out. Then, I’ll wait for some poor college student to become desperate for money and sell their metabolism on eBay.