The JOB Interview

 

By Janet Walgren

I have had some interesting job interviews in my life –unique to say the least; my favorite one didn’t happen…at least the company didn’t know about it. So when two other people and I showed up for work a few days after the interview, it was as if we had walked into the office and yelled SURPRISE!!! Yes, surprise was definitely in the air. The employee that hired us had been (in some way that was kept a mystery from us) disassociated with the company and our little group of new employees was his secret parting present.

A good dose of honesty would have gone a long way at that time, but the company didn’t want to tell us what was amusingly obvious to each of us. So, with subdued giggles we sat in amazement as the management tried to subtly coax each individual to divulge their expected job description and promised pay. Needless to say, our little band of new hires experienced an orientation class that was unparalleled in the annals of corporate history. I should have told them I had been hired to replace the CEO! Fortunately (we thought) we did keep our jobs but one-by-one we each decided that it was in our best interest to seek employment elsewhere.

While this experience may seem uniquely uncommon, funny and very amusing, it reinforced my understanding that honesty and due dilligence are the keys to preventing or handling the suprises of life. Take divorce for example, why is the divorce rate so incredibly high? We hear about couples falling out of love all the time.

Perhaps we ought to ask divorcees about the JOB interview that preceded their marriage. It’s as if the young couple raced through the isles of a grocery store and picked up a can of “handsome stranger” or “pretty woman” without even bothering to read the content label on the back of the can.

While on their honeymoon, the infatuated couple has fun playing with the package while dreaming of living happily ever after. Then, they hurry home to their little love nest, race across the threshold and excitedly opened their cans of “handsome stranger” and “pretty woman,”  turned them upside down and dump them on to the plate of life only to find that they don’t like the content of the can or the meal that is set before them.

Surprised!!! Why should they be? …So they don’t like their JOB descriptions; did they ever bother to read them? Were they honest in their job interviews? So she doesn’t like cooking, cleaning, washing dishes, changing diapers, doing laundry, teaching children, bug collections, soothing a crying child, unclogging toilets, budgeting to make ends meet, and comforting a tired man when he comes home feeling downtrodden and disheartened. What’s that got to do with anything? 

So he doesn’t want to get up early and work all day just to surrender his meager paycheck to take care of a family that always needs $10 dollars more than he earns. Worse yet, his job is not over when he gets home! Now his not so “pretty woman” wants him to take out the garbage, change a diaper, hold a teething baby who is crying, and watch a Barbie movie with little Susie, mow the lawn, and then spend fifteen minutes of quality time listening to her. “No way,” he protests! But it is in the JOB description.

What did “handsome stranger” and “pretty woman” think a wife and mother, a husband and father do? Did she honestly think that he was going to wine and dine her every night over candlelight dinners that she didn’t prepare and then have stimulating conversations under the stars while the maid did the dishes? Was he really honestly expecting to be left alone to eat a gourmet meal in front of the TV while watching a football game with “pretty woman” at his beck and call to fetch drinks and rubs his smelly feet?

You see, cans of “handsome stranger” and “pretty woman” do not come with a lifetime customer satisfaction or your money back guarantee. What’s inside is very, very important. Why would you want to buy the can or even kiss it if you couldn’t love its content?

Can “handsome stranger” or “pretty woman” handle the job requirements? What was that job description anyway???  Is the content of the can capable of handling the nutritional or nurturing needs of a marriage and family? Is “handsome stranger” or “pretty woman” even interested in the job or do they only want the paycheck?

 

Discovering that my friends, is what the JOB INTERVIEW called dating is all about.

 

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